Footprints In The Sand

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 10:34 PM to dat someone whom i really loved. I will be by Avril Lavgine There's nothing I could say to you Nothing I could ever do to make you see What you mean to me All the pain, the tears I cried Still you never said goodbye And now I know how far you'd go I know I let you down But it's not like that now This time I'll never let you go I will be all that you want And get myself together 'cus you keep me from falling apart All my life I'll be with you forever To get you through the day And make everything okay I thought that I had everything I didn't know what life could bring But now I see, honestly You're the one thing I got right The only one I let inside Now I can breathe 'cus you're here with me And if I let you down I'll turn it all around 'cus I will never let you go I will be all that you want And get myself together 'cus you keep me from falling apart All my life I'll be with you forever To get you through the day And make everything okay 'cus without you I can't sleep I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave You're all I've got You're all I want Yeah And without you I don't know what I'd do I could never ever live a day without you Here with me do ya see You're all I need And I will be all that you want And get myself together 'cus you keep me from falling apart All my life (my life) I'll be with you forever (forever) To get you through the day And make everything okay (okay) I will be all that you want (I'll be) And get myself together (get myself together) 'cus you keep me from falling apart And all my life You know I'll be with you forever To get you through the day And make everything okay http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNpNp13SiNI back to top?
@ 2:26 PM After much crazy proscinating... I managed to stop crying (ya i know... again..-..-) and continue to do bobby. Other than going to Ikea for my noticeboard and meeting up with Angel at Bugis hand her her stuffs, and i cancelled the rest of my appointments with the others to stay in school to rush. I havent been to anywhere other than that other than school for my FLASH which i redo them freaking 11!!! TIMES for the past horrid horrid weeks to a mth and back to do him on a freaking holiday. not proud to say it. trying out different styles/ kinds of makeup bear with me abit for the cam-slut pictures some are up on FB already. and i liked neither. Film results was super disappointing. Only a Pass. But.. Lost it at the software part. The story itself doesnt need editing. Straightforward point and filmed in a very straigthforward manner too. Damn. nt proud to say dat either. I think i'm going onto an dissappearing act soon not where near home. for a day or two.then again, i'll see how things go.if its up to my budget, i'll go. Contridictary. but i promise,i'll be safe for the time being i guess. suicide wouldn't come so soon.but soon enough.but this time round, i'm gonn take loads of awesome pictures. promise. changing blogskin soon Labels: upset-footprintsprinted back to top?
Saturday, September 26, 2009 @ 4:41 PM Had been super busy these days with school school school school... And havent been able to meet anyone including Angel dat day. So does Wiwi... or anyone... i'm Super sorry!! I think I'm turning into a nerd which i terribly enjoy... But then again, i feel jus as upset. And at times i dunno what am I working so hard for. Neither do I know how my future lies. I'm pretty scared acutally. i feel unhappy. Without him. The vids are done!! All the filming with the others my own ones... Were really fun. I might post it up. I might not. It depends on the directors!! Hee... Sound assignments are done too. Only left with Bobby. sighs... I bought a softboard!! in the silly makings of my inspiration collage wall!! wore hime kind of clothes yesterday to ikea with a half swollen mouth... Erm... It looks hime to me. well, I don't know. urrghhh. i think im going to change my style of makeup to something more hime soon. Or so i think. Havent been answering most of phone calls these days too. I dunno why. I'm just so... Sighs I don't know how to explain either. more pics will be uploaded soon of my little half-crazed ikea trip and my crazy dye-ed hair using the new Lisese/ Lisse hair dye i forgot the spelling in Chiffon Beige!! I've forgotten to check the difference in the box colour and my hair. But it was pretty dried out after the colouring but the colour really comes out!! happy it was pretty painful tingly kind of sensation and the foam doesn't finish no matter how much u use it! Super hilarious. Oh, I've found my dream cafe too!! I thought they wouldn't have one like this SG. A cute cafe, that: sells interesting photography booklets and old books sofa and chilled with an air-con cov-ey feeling as you enter. hmm.. you know the orange lightnings with perfect cozy furniture and bean bags and stuffs. a place where i can study for the whole day!! hold gigs but its opened from 3pm-11pm. sad. not 24 hrs!! arrggghh p.s. u may nt believe me. but wad i said to u is true. i cant prove it cuz u're nt with me. there's nth to lie about. a do nt have u. y wont u be back? Labels: lil girl with big dreams back to top?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 @ 2:40 PM I've come to realise (taken from wiwi's blog) 1. I've come to realize that my hair:• Look like auntie 2. I've come to realize that when I talk:• I sound stupid 3. I've come to realize that all I really need:• cash 4. I've come to realize that I've lost:• Close friends,myself and ... 5. I've come to realize that I hate it when:• I cry. When I'm broke, when people made fun of me 7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:• I cant sleep 8. I've come to realize that money:• is essential 9. I've come to realize that when I get old:• I will Be thrown in an old age home 10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:• a boring and useless person 11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:• Koda Kumi 12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:• i dunno i try hard nt to... 13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:• was given by darren! 14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:• What's the bad thing that is going to happen next? 15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:• sighs 16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:•my flash 17. I've come to realize that my life:• A journey i dun wanna walk anymore. 18. I've come to realize that my favourite drink is:• Milk ( LOL! same as wiwi) and baileys 19. I've come to realize that today I will:• Meet Angel to hand her her clothes. 20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:•I sleep late again 21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:• I will do my schwork 22. I've come to realize that I really want to:• leave this place. 23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is:• Hahaahahah WIWI i reposted this!! heheh 24. I've come to realize relationships are:• Swords that pierce through your hearts ripping u with an open wound to bleed. 25. I've come to realize that love:• are just lies... 26. I've come to realize my best guy friend(s):• is Kelvin? lol!! 27. I've come to realize my best girl friend(s):• are Happy? 28. I've come to realize food is:• are the best things is the world and its irresistable. 29: I've come to realize that this summer:•Is long and tiring 30. I've come to realize heartbreak is:• the last thing i ever wanted it to be. 31. I've come to realize that the last person i liked:• Him 33. I've come to realize that crying:• Is a relief 34. I've come to realize that death:• can be blown out like a candle 35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:• no one bothers 36. I've come to realize when I'm bored:• I will stone and there's isnt a question 32!!! im always affected affected affected... shit. thank u for the thumbdrive. Its really a suprise... Welcomed Valerius to Singapore and went out with him to buy 3 different packets of Salt and Vinegar Chips!!! hahaha You are gonna fall sickk taking all that!! >.< Gonna hand Angel her clothes later on. Hee.. Then, study at the libary? i dunno wad i did these few days. sorry. no pics taken today either. upset. Labels: i got addicted to coffee i tink- footprints printed back to top?
Sunday, September 13, 2009 @ 4:33 AM Had achievement today again! happyhappy* took some pictures liked one of them then edited the rest... helped Ah Long gor Ah Jie's Bf with his work had fun with filming. Oh wells, i've always liked acting!! Hehe... Thanks for treating me today man. Treat u and Ah Jie back next time! Then went Coscafe and met up with Darren as usual to have coffee and i drank 2 cups and i'm still feeling sleepy. Sad life. But managed to do quite alot today. Filming was fun despite the god-forsaken weather! Debby flew off today. I'm gonna miss her. Lots and lots and lots. And worry too. Wiwi!! Next week okiie!!?? I SWEAR that im gonna work doubly hard when continue to the next module. I hope that there's no other bomb dat's gonna fall onto me. I wont be able to take it. Wanna go wild wild wet with WENDY!! New pics coming up on my wall.... Took off the old ones, and cover them with the sands of time. If only i could ask my dad to sponsor me a softboard the Ikea kinds to hang on my wall, it would be WEEEEEEE!!!~~~~ a photographer's room baby! KURO-SAN WENT MISSNG!! trying out the camera phone Darren handed to me. thank u so much!!! weeeee!!!~ im feeling crazily lame today. Ah Jie also kenna from me. Poor thing. -.- i keep forgetting abt the baby shoes pic i had to take... and my premire is acting CRAZY!! - i need to tell myself dat people will only want me if im the best. im not sastified with me. Oh ya a little update on the pic helped kelly for her assignment. so much so, a sudden way to end my this stupid entry... get well soon. Labels: have u seen kuro-san today?- footprints printed back to top?
Saturday, September 12, 2009 @ 2:16 AM place: Yanti coffeeshop's table. it was raining. outside. if only water fell onto this droplet and i managed to take both water hitting together, awesome... oh well, im happy with this too. Did u watch brainac? Heh. I had an accomplishment today... Took a good photo!! Super proud of it! Hahaha... lucky shot actually. Weee!! Met debby the other day. She's still sad. Poor thing. I'll miss her when she go back indo. Sighs. One less company on the weekdays. Oh well, got Wiwi... Hahaha. WIWI!! I havent take pic with u yet uh!! So is Wendy, So is felicia. Hahaha. I think I need a good book for me to get through my travelling time. I'm tempted to read The Time Traveller's Wife before even watching the movie or something.I think i'm going to die reading it. I think its gonna be sad, i'm gonna cry and Or probably some other book like Night Train To Lisbon. How many times have i said to fall in love with this book?!!!!!! Darren is gonna help me hand the book to JL ,hope he loves it as much as I do... Then its Darren turn to read the book. Heee... GUYS! Enjoy the book, and enjoy the journey it takes u through and have fun aggreeing/ or debating with urself if he's in the right or if he's in the wrong. Its a slow book with a disappointing ending. Today i've realised something... People cannot fall for me. Its like calling for trouble. I'm weird. And fuck myself up in everyway. Though im not trying to right now. I'm super upset. I shouldnt appear. I wish i could jus disappear into the thin air. Just poof!! like that and leave the happiest memories. I miss Suyi. and my com is lagging. Nabeiis Sorry for the vulgularties... I'm jus emo. God. Walk me through this please? Give me strength?? Teach me what to do and make me learn from it. Since when i've started to put my emotions writing a blog? Shit back to dat old post kinda shit. Wanna cry. And the tears should stop. Cleared off the pictures dat i've put up onto my wall a few years back like pictures of friendships, pictures of me, and things around,people i love, memories of the fun i used to have,pictures that remind me how i've drowned like shit, taking them out without emotions seemed like the stone that has been washed up onto the shore where the pictures seemed to lay onto the ground then dissolving into the sand transiting into footprints. Here, i remember the people i've hurt, the tears i've cried,the laughter dat ive used to have, the swims i've made to make it through in the storms of the seas, the times when i fell inside and couldnt come out, the people whom cared, still cared, stopped caring, started caring, the people who worried,im sorry. like sand along the oceans i wish to disappear. blogger is crapping up again so, currently no pics. and now after all these, im back to the storm. But i'm gonna start a new collage wall again. Things will not remind me of THE STALKER. Or anything else. example of an collage wall The next pictures i'm gonna put up are photos i took... hopefully to motivate me to take more pictures jus to add to the collection of my collage wall. I'm hurting the world. And just thinking like dat makes me feel like edicius I realised y i cant update with pics and stuffs... I forgot to click check on my settings with the updated editer. -..- user user user user problem. nothing wrong with blogger something's wrong with me... Really its.... -..-"" lor. no pics of me!! i shall update agaiin soon! Kinda in a rush in this current update. Labels: pictures-footprints printed back to top?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 @ 2:20 AM I was right. There's a storm today. Ultimate bad. Sians... I really want life to be better. wishes to come true, hopes becomming better teardrops to stop falling.... bla bla bla Eliza's bday... My eyes closed foundation too white. Crap. Meeting Felicia darlings tomorrow i tink. I'm going to redo bobby. I dunno if i can finish him and this animation and as well as the rest of the poject. Its time. To take pride in my works. At least when i look at them, i wouldnt go thinking that... Oh that?Aiya i anyhow do one... Doesnt reflect well on myself either... Did something that took me alot of courage to do... was to... heh. I'm not going to tell unless i get into it! Just getting selected can make me fly~~~~ I hope i can get into this If i do, i could sing the song I believe i can fly~~~ I hate this sucky feeling of wanting to die. I dun wanna depend on medications either. I dun wanna wake up every morning thinking that something bad would happen either. Darren getting to know u is awesome!! heart filled with worry worry worry. I dun wanna retake this sem. Rain. rain. rain. rain. soften the harsher things in life. like teardrops from god, like how my heart breaks, like how flowers keeping their beauty with raindrops like dew, filled with softness and rain rain rain rain shows how vulernable in we are. Seeking shelter. And i've realised something about flowers dat made me love them even more... so beautiful. yet knowing their life is short, dewdrops like their tears, yet, so graceful as if living life to their fullest as they gracefully withers away leaving memories of their beauty and their strength... BRYAN'S BDAY frm left: Middle guy BRYAN 2nd row: Jason, Andy, Si Jie, Jinyan, Eliza 3rdRow: David, Li Ming, Joe & GF, Katherine need me to say where the fuck am i? heh. Yeah yeah... we are girls and girls take alot of pictures!! Met up with people I havent seen in ages. But some didnt come over as well. And ended up at at night at Coscafe for BAILEYS can u resist this drink? I guess i should try it with the milk mixers next time... i'm feeling super itchy hand to open my bottles. Hehehehee DEBBY! i'm sorry. If my words are too harsh. Super sorry. Labels: hey im not as bad as u tink. - footprints printed back to top?
Saturday, September 5, 2009 @ 10:36 AM girls loves flowers For all the things dat happened recently, i shall randomly jus say dat some pics are up... The shity pics of my face... Like there's anyone interested... And i hope dat blogger will freaking go back to normal... So does life... So, there's: Stephan's cook out. It was awesome!! And I seriously hope dat i can get my Fables Cover Artbook signed by the artist James Jean. And pray dat shipping fees wouldn't cost me a bomb! Cook out was awesome! So does Stephan's collection of COMIC ART!!! Thanks Darren for bringing me there. You're the MAN! School's event young designer's award. Congrats to the dudes who won! and dat day of fun. Though i went there to vote once... Stayed over in school to do school work. and having those fucking rashes all over... And still a million more to go... Eliza's Bday- the ultra blessed her at her chalet. with tons of prezzie and a bouquet of lily for her. frm me and Jinyan. Met up with secondary sch dudes. i look fat. WHYYYY??? flower girl loves liz lisa cuz its FLOWERRRRSSS!!! too dark... and we did it the secondary school way retro okay?! Debby's bday... With a tear-stained her and sunflowers and bday cakes for her and her poor tearry stained face. DEBBY BE HAPPY!! (ooh it rhymes!) Helping Kelly with her modelling shoot for her assignments. I hope things go well for her. Helping Carmen and Jessie with their modelling shoot for assignment as well. U guys will get a distinction man!! Met up with Felicia darlings to hand her the webcam and seeing her so happy... Lets meetup again soon kayys? I hearts U!! U look prettayyy!! should dress like dat more uh... Later on to Bryan's Bday... and meet up with even more classmates... Sighs... not particularly happy with my life and im still feeling suicidal... and im still unhappy and stressed. lost and still feel alone, i realise dat i need god. i should stop crying. i should this. i should that. i should work harder. i should be happier. i should stop drowing myself in pity i should let things be and stop thinking of what if's i should be stronger i should stop cutting i should stop. i should stop being so suicidal. though im stupid, though i've messed myself up so much dat i look like a town that's just gotten hit by tusami. I should stop continuing this way. isnt this wad people whom care about me wanted to hear? i should just stop. but... what if??? Yes... there's so much "buts" and "what if's" inside me. im 21. And i'm still acting like im 12. im stil struggling with living Yes ppl whom care are thinking... THANK-GOD FION!! FINALLY! Among all these silly blog entries that I have. I guess this is my first and only serious entry that I had. HOW MOTHER-FUCKING LONG AM I STILL GONNA CUT? How much more does my dad has to spend for me to get trough my education? How long more do i wanna screw myself up cuz of one bloody relationship? Shit. Life is nt a fairytale. i've woken up, i realised dat i've been dreaming for too long of a time. Then, when i dream. People WISE PEOPLE has been using that time to get ahead of me... and what am i doing? Picking up that shit ass time that i've lost and feeling sorry for myself... And i know that its not helping. There's no such things as a old me, real me or a new... I keep thinking that I should change but all these while, im wrong too! I should change my thinking instead. If im not messed up, would i allow people to mess me up? Turning back time wouldnt help if im still thinking the way i did. Things seriously doesnt work this way This time, i really i tell myself, thank god fion finally... and i know these are the things that everyone has been trying to tell me all these years. And im not crying when im typing this post. With a clear mind. things are changing. And change might be good this time... i hope. p.s: if i could, i'll post up the modelling pics dat Carmen and Jessie took for their art direction assignment... Boom and ZL looked awesome!! wahaha... there's a First time for everything. with all these events and people around me there's tears in between, first time for being dat heartbroken. first time going an extra mile with school. first time to realise how FUCKED UP I AM... p.s. p.s: im still afraid dat bad things is going to happen when i wake up. cuz i know dat waves are quiet before the storm. Labels: confused by the words of god...-footprints printed back to top?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009 @ 9:51 PM the tears can drown me to death. Labels: torture back to top?

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