
Saturday, September 5, 2009 @ 10:36 AM
girls loves flowers


For all the things dat happened recently, i shall randomly jus say dat some pics are up... The shity pics of my face... Like there's anyone interested... And i hope dat blogger will freaking go back to normal... So does life...
So, there's:
Stephan's cook out. It was awesome!! And I seriously hope dat i can get my Fables Cover Artbook signed by the artist James Jean. And pray dat shipping fees wouldn't cost me a bomb! Cook out was awesome! So does Stephan's collection of COMIC ART!!! Thanks Darren for bringing me there. You're the MAN!
School's event young designer's award. Congrats to the dudes who won! and dat day of fun. Though i went there to vote once...
Stayed over in school to do school work. and having those fucking rashes all over... And still a million more to go...

Eliza's Bday- the ultra blessed her at her chalet. with tons of prezzie and a bouquet of lily for her. frm me and Jinyan. Met up with secondary sch dudes.
i look fat. WHYYYY???


flower girl loves liz lisa cuz its FLOWERRRRSSS!!!

too dark...

and we did it the secondary school way
retro okay?!
Debby's bday... With a tear-stained her and sunflowers and bday cakes for her and her poor tearry stained face. DEBBY BE HAPPY!! (ooh it rhymes!)



Helping Kelly with her modelling shoot for her assignments. I hope things go well for her.
Helping Carmen and Jessie with their modelling shoot for assignment as well. U guys will get a distinction man!!
Met up with Felicia darlings to hand her the webcam and seeing her so happy... Lets meetup again soon kayys? I hearts U!! U look prettayyy!! should dress like dat more uh...
Later on to Bryan's Bday... and meet up with even more classmates... Sighs...
not particularly happy with my life and im still feeling suicidal... and im still unhappy and stressed.
lost and still feel alone,
i realise dat i need god.
i should stop crying.
i should this.
i should that.
i should work harder.
i should be happier.
i should stop drowing myself in pity
i should let things be and stop thinking of what if's
i should be stronger
i should stop cutting
i should stop.
i should stop being so suicidal.
though im stupid, though i've messed myself up so much dat i look like a town that's just gotten hit by tusami. I should stop continuing this way.
isnt this wad people whom care about me wanted to hear?
i should just stop.
but... what if???
Yes... there's so much "buts" and "what if's" inside me.
im 21.
And i'm still acting like im 12.
im stil struggling with living
Yes ppl whom care are thinking... THANK-GOD FION!! FINALLY!
Among all these silly blog entries that I have. I guess this is my first and only serious entry that I had.
HOW MOTHER-FUCKING LONG AM I STILL GONNA CUT?
How much more does my dad has to spend for me to get trough my education?
How long more do i wanna screw myself up cuz of one bloody relationship?
Shit. Life is nt a fairytale.
i've woken up, i realised dat i've been dreaming for too long of a time.
Then, when i dream. People WISE PEOPLE has been using that time to get ahead of me...
and what am i doing?
Picking up that shit ass time that i've lost and feeling sorry for myself...
And i know that its not helping. There's no such things as a old me, real me or a new... I keep thinking that I should change but all these while, im wrong too!
I should change my thinking instead. If im not messed up, would i allow people to mess me up? Turning back time wouldnt help if im still thinking the way i did.
Things seriously doesnt work this way
This time, i really i tell myself, thank god fion finally...
and i know these are the things that everyone has been trying to tell me all these years.
And im not crying when im typing this post.
With a clear mind.
things are changing.
And change might be good this time...
i hope.
p.s: if i could, i'll post up the modelling pics dat Carmen and Jessie took for their art direction assignment...
Boom and ZL looked awesome!!
wahaha...
there's a First time for everything.
with all these events and people around me there's tears in between,
first time for being dat heartbroken.
first time going an extra mile with school.
first time to realise how FUCKED UP I AM...
p.s. p.s: im still afraid dat bad things is going to happen when i wake up.
cuz i know dat waves are quiet before the storm.
Labels: confused by the words of god...-footprints printed