Its been a long time since I've posted something new into this blog. And I wonder if I had any new followers that used to frequent my blog. Is there someone out there? Anyone new? Anyone old?t I remember he person I used to be before, the person I've become now. I remember the friends I had, lost some, kept some and gained some more. I remembered the 21 year old innocence. Like the world is in my hands. Its been 4 years since I last posted something and the haitus seemed unthinkably long. I asked myself if I could bring myself to delete the old post that I kept and treasured for so long. And I know I wouldn't be able to do it. Maybe, not now. Maybe not ever. As though like a treasure box. 

This entry is gonna be wordy. And I hope that I can continue writing in this blog before I went missing again.

I'm single again. For 23 days. And I don't wanna go back and look for him. I don't wanna go into another shithole again. I wrote in my phone diary for awhile now before planning to post it here. Not many posts. But I guess enough to make this entry super long. I didn't drink as much as the last time I broke up with Sheikh neither did I didn't cry as much as I thought I would or should have. But my heart still hurts. I still wonder why you did what you did. But its over. I don't need to know more. And neither do I want to know more.

Its okay if no one was reading. This is my memory box. This white space is someone/ something I can talk to.

Here goes the updates:

1st March'2014

Went to my god-sister's wedding at Marina Bay Sands. It was so memorable and I realized how much I liked the planning of someone's wedding. I found it fun and I realize I know more than I should have. Maybe its because of all the empty promises that was given to me. Woke up at 6:30a.m and its the earliest that I have woken up since my secondary school days other than my insomnia. If felt so happy for her that day and wondered to myself what had I done with my life. I used to have plans and agendas of my days and my life in 5 years time. I asked myself why it isn't me? But I couldn't find an answer. But I know its time i give up in this relationship and I know that this, needs courage.The was unhappy that I stayed out late. But I didn't want to care. I just want to have fun. Just for that day with my long lost friends and the newly gained ones. Though I'm still very sick. And found myself to be really lucky that I got better in time. I think I'm happier that I've lost a whole bunch of weight as well.