As the slow music plays among the lonely crowds of orchard, as slow melodious tune filled the air, lovers sat around passerbys walked time felt as if it has stopped at its tracks, trailing off the the almost dreamlike state that when the music stopped what's only left is its silence lingering in the air among that windy evening skies.

It feels as if I've been forgotton by friends. Like i don't exsist anymore. Or that i'm trying to create extinction towards others. I guess the worst part about me is that I've started smoking. What The Hell... I've been feeling really sick recently too.... Those irritating fainting spells are back again... Just stops you from progressing more in your life. And gets people worrying and at times u just cant help to wonder if people would think if its the real thing anot. Sighs. I feel unwanted. By people everything.

Like my future still seemed so bleak after what Mark said about my dreams of doing fantasy art. That smirk on his face; something that i cannot forget for the rest of my life. I know that its a long time since his lesson but.... I cant help it. But yet again, what he says is right I don't even know where and how to start. I cant draw. All i know is to stare at people artworks. Or am i proscratinating? I'm confused. But i do want to prove him wrong. I guess the worst ones is being judged for nt having a sense of urgency even when work has already been done or when u enter the class and the look on people's faces.... WHY? Cause' you're not good enough. And when u badly want to prove them wrong you'll just find it childish to do so.... There's no point stopping how people think of you. What if... This person used to be a friend?

There must be something wrong with me....
Life just cant stop because of someone to improve....
maybe i should jus try harder for me.

my blog will be going under maintenance soon i guess.
the blogskin will be done using drawings that i've done more or less like my portfoilo. I still don't know.
pictures are not up i cant find my usb cable.

xoxoxo
fion

Labels: life's hard- footprints printed